Back in the day... say 1990's, there was an "Apology Line".
It was set up by a very compassionate man named Allan Bridge. Forgiveness was a very important concept and way of life for this man.
He knew that EVERYONE felt sorrow. Even the hardest of criminals that seemed to have no respect for life. Particularly their own.
Mostly, he knew the value in expressing sorrow.

It isn't easy to express sorrow to those that you have hurt.
So, this phone line was set up so those that felt the sorrow, but could not express it to the ones they hurt, could express their sorrow and apologize. All calls, though anonymous, were recorded.
Some might think that is a cowards way out.
Maybe.
But, I think that it was something that he saw as a necessity and was of value. And he moved on it.

I listened to a piece done through NPR called This American Life.
Perhaps you have heard of it.
The program was about Apologies.
It is powerful.

There were 3 different stories in this program. And Allan's was one of them.

One man was sorry for his terrorist acts, riots, fires and bombs that he was responsible for.

Another man was sorry for the abuse he put his elderly and bed-ridden mother through. She was on social security and could not take care of herself. He too, though not elderly and bed-ridden, could not take care of himself. However, this was due to the poor choices he had made in his life.
He needed money.
She needed food and water.
So the bartering began.
She is thirsty and needs a glass of water. Sure. No problem. $5.00
She is hungry and needs a sandwich. Sure. No problem. $10.00
Of coarse, after time, she passes.
And he is left here. Some years later, the sorrow is right where he left it. However, she is not here to apologize to.
The Apology line seems to be his only outlet.

Another man calls.
He is apologizing to his parents and his infant sister.
You see, he killed her.
He was only a child. But he killed her.
He wrapped a plastic bag around her head. She gasped for air. She then turned blue. Then she was still. He was only curious as to what might happen.
With a blue, lifeless child in front of him, he hid the bag and said nothing.
His parents found his sister, dead in her crib.
Autopsy: SIDS

He has NEVER told ANYONE (other than his therapist) what he has carried around his entire life. He, so badly, has wanted to apologize. But how do you do this, years later? How do you tell your parents that their baby didn't "just die"?
How do you tell them that it was because of your doing? Plain and Simple. No other reasons.
Well, he didnt. However, because of this phone line, he was able to voice his sorrow and give it some air. Still, wishing so badly that somehow, his parents were on the other end of the line listening to his confession. His Sorrow. His apology.
But, they werent.

EVERYONE carries sorrow.
What an amazing person Allan Bridge was to recognize this enough and to honor where it lived in him enough, to set up a means for others to express their sorrow. To apologize.


As it seems in most stories like these, there is some irony.

Allan Bridge was active in boating and SCUBA diving. In August of 1995, he was struck by a Jet Skier as he surfaced from diving, and was killed.
The Jet Skier circled around his body once, and then took off.
No one knows who accidentally killed Allan Bridge, the man who believed so deeply in not only apologizing, but forgiveness.

After his death, the Apology Line was shut down. Unfortunately, before the anonymous jet skier, that took Allen Bridges life could make an anonymous call to apologize.



On Saturday night, we received word that my husbands cousin was involved in a very serious auto/pedestrian accident. She was the pedestrian. She was hit by a car, who did not see her, at a rate of 45 miles per hour. She very easily could have been killed. Or worse, sent to a vegetable state.
However, she will be fine. She has some serious injuries and has been in ICU since Saturday, but she will recover.
On Sunday, the driver of the car, his wife and their baby came to see her at the hospital. They apologized. How healing this must have been for Allerie. But probably more so for the driver andhis family.

Embrace your sorrow. Voice it. Dont keep it to yourself.

Apologize.



Alisa