Hey, Finished IS finished!!

So, I really enjoyed my weekend.

It started out rough, but ended up pretty dang perfect.

Thursday night:

i forget that i am a mom and that i am responsible for a 7 year old daughter and her dietary needs. We do believe that Grace is lactose intolerant. So, we have been staying away from the cows milk as much as we can.

She was at tumbling, and I was running errands.

I stopped by Smith's and remembered how turned on I get when I pass their Olive bar.

It would be rude of me not to stop by and say hi.

I mean, we do have a pretty intense and intimate history.

So, I said hi.

And then I got some of the caprese salad that they have there.

I head over to get Grace.

We get in the car and she sees that I have the caprese salad.

She LOVES the mozzarella balls. She asked if she could have some, I said yes...and she starts chowing.

About 8 small mozzarella balls later I remember......LACTOSE INTOLERANT!!

HELLO??

Grace, stop eating that.

Well, unfortunately, Grace had to pay for my brain fart.

Later that night....stomach in knots. She couldn't eat anything else.

She went to bed with a very hurty tummy.

Then, she woke up at 430, told me she doesn't feel well, sat Marty Monkey style on my floor, and puked.

Then again.

Then again.

Tye piped up with some very comforting words.....

"Pull her hair back......."

You cant buy advice like that.

I clean up the mess, get her in new clothes, get her back to bed and asleep.

The next morning, she was in no shape at all to go to school.

This is not from Lactose intolerant.

This is the stomach flu.

So I stayed home from work with her.

I had to leave later that night to get to my sister Kristins house.

See, a while back....back when we were obviously less...um, smart...we decided to sign up for the SLC Marathon Bike tour.

Now, 26 miles on a bike....really, not too hard. HOWEVER, when you have to wake up at 4 in the morning to be at the starting line at 530.......it doesn't matter if you are doing it so you can pet puppies and eat crispy cremes, that time of day makes ANYTHING hard.

On my way down to her house, I called Kristin and told her that if it windy in the morning, I AM OUT! I dont have to be a hero. Hell, I dont have to be a mediocre slob.

IM NOT BIKING IN THE WIND!

I swear, I am trying to think of something that I hate as equally as I hate riding against the wind.

I got nuthin.

So, to bed we go at midnight.

And at 1 I get a text from Tye.

Grace's fever has spiked to 103.5

he is threatening her to eat something so that he can give her some motrin.

It worked, cuz they didnt end up at the hospital.

I have never ever experienced 4 am taking forever to come around.

And this was no different.

It sneaks up on you like a little spider, and gives me the same knee jerk reaction.....KILL KILL KILL!!!

But I handled it well.

My friends brother in law was going to ride it with "us".

We call him Herb.

Who is "us" you might ask?

Well, "us" consisted of Me, my sister Kristin, friend Nicky, friend Joni, friend Nancy, and then Herb.

Well, Herb texts me at 430.

"Hey, do you think helmets are required? Will they be selling them there? I forgot mine"

Uh....we arent going to some stinky ass bowling alley where half the income comes from banking on selling socks to morons that forgot that they have to wear some 20 year old nasty, been worn by at least 200 other athletes foot, wart sportin, skin peeling, stinky feet people.....

My test: "yes, helmets required. No, they will not be selling them....."

As we pull out of Kristins neighborhood I tell her what he text and say "Who forgets their helmet..??"

She pauses...

"Wait, wheres mine....?"

yeah, on her table.

She forgets her helmet.

Then I get a call from Joni asking where i am.

She had to head back to her house cuz she too forgot her helmet.....AND her clip on shoes....

Anyway...we get there, we get ready.

We ride to the starting line....WOW, LOTS OF PEOPLE!

So, I decided that we weren't going to start at the back of the line, we were just going to mix in with the others at the front of the line.

Ready

Set

Go!

And we are off.

I brought up the rear...

Im telling you. It was a good thing that we did indeed butt in line in the front.

I would have been DEAD LAST.

Nicky stayed with me the whole time.

Now, dont get me wrong. It isnt like I dont bike.

It isnt like I have no stamina.

I just wasnt as fast as....well, most of them.

But hey, we averaged 17 miles per hour.

We ended in an hour 30.

I am proud.

It felt GREAT!!!

It was such an awesome morning!

After we got to the finish line, we met up with everyone.

We needed to ride trax back up to the U.

Joni and Nancy left. So it was just us four.

As we were waiting for Trax, Herb (who finished first with Kristin out of the 6 of us) asks me (very matter of fact, with no judgment of me or anyone else)

"So did the racers that are handicap pass you?"

NOTE***about 20 minutes after us, they had the cyclists that peddle with their hands rather than their feet, start their race. And they were indeed racing each other....we were not. We were just racing time.

That is who he was talking about. And let me preface this with this....I admire and respect anyone who doesnt let any disability get in their way***END OF NOTE

I look at him, and say...

"So are you asking me if those who started 20 minutes after us that cycle with their hands because they cant with their legs....passed me????"

He looks at me with a blank stare.....

"yes, yes they did..." I say.

But, I was not racing them.

True, if I was racing something, it better have been a lawn gnome. Because there isnt anything or anyone else that I could beat.

However, I was so proud of myself that I wore the medal, that they gave all the finishers, ALL DAY LONG.

I head home, thinking about the nap that I am going to have before Anna and Brian come over.

I get home. And I am welcomed by reality.

Reality that my husband wants to put me to work in the yard.

So, I tell him that I will work in the yard, and then I AM TAKING A NAP!

I work

He works

We both work.

And then I got to meet "My Wall".

The tired wall.

I was trying to pull up some grass with some whoppidy do da tool, and I snapped!

I threw it across the lawn and yelled "I AM DONE!!"

Tye comes over, he shows me how to do pull this grass up.

I tell him "I KNOW HOW TO DO THIS! I DONT WANT TO!!I AM DONE!!!!"

He says "Hey, Im tired too. Grace was sick last night. I didnt get much sleep."

I said- "I went to bed at midnight. Woke up, then asleep, then woke up at 4!!"

He said- "Thats about how much sleep I got too"

Me- "DID YOU RIDE 26 MILES RIGHT AFTER????"

NO!

I win.

I got a hiccup of a nap.

Time to go to the store.

Then Anna and Brian came over with the girls.

I love them.

I love them so freaking much!!

I loved having them at my house.

We had a big ole sleep over.

Then the next day the rest of my siblings came over for brunch.

It was great!!!

The weather was BEAUTIFUL!

Great company, great food, lots of love and fun.

AND, I got a medal.

Not sure how to beat it.

Alisa

Perspective

I think we could all use it.

Not just some of the time, but prally most of the time.

Ok, Ok...I will speak for myself.

I could use it most of the time.

I really do feel that I am conscious most of my waking hours.

By conscious, I mean, doing things on purpose. Not on auto pilot. Remembering other people. Being aware at how my actions may effect others. What others may be working through right now.

Ya know...conscious.

Today I lost my perspective for a moment.

Today is my sweethearts birthday.

My husband Tyler.

He is 34.

We have been married for almost 12 years.

I choose him again and again everyday.

So, he went hunting today. He's gonna shoot us a turkey.

He had to stop by my work to get some stuff out of my car to complete his hunting expedition.

He came in, grabbed my keys and headed outside to my car.

I followed him.

Talked to his two buddies that were going with him.

Hugged him, kissed him and sent him on his way.

About two hours later he calls me...

Me: "Hey"

Tye: BIG SIGH...."hhhheeeeeeyyyyyy"

Me: "Uh Oh, that doesn't sound good...whats up?"

Tye: "no, it isn't good. We stopped in Gunnison to get some stuff and......"

Me: "What? And...WHAT?"

Tye: "I have your Jeep keys in my pocket...."

Me: "WHAT? SON OF A......"

Tye: "I know, I KNOW....I feel terrible. But we can figure this out. You can call the dealership. they can cut a new key from your VIN number....."

Me: SIGGGGHHHHHHHH "I'll call you back. I'm going to call them and see what they can do"

Oh yeah....Gunnison is easily 100 miles south of where I am.

End result of calling the dealership...

Yes, they can make me a new key from my VIN.

BUT

They have to have the vehicle in order to program the key TO the vehicle.

The dealership is literally .25 miles from my work (Where my jeep is)

So, It has to be towed to the dealership. But, the good news is that they DO in fact have a key that they can cut for me.

However, they close in an hour and half.

Call Tye.

Tell him the story and, oh yeah, get his Credit Card number. He's footin the bill for this.

Which, to his credit, he had already offered to and totally felt that it was reasonable.

So, call the towing company, give them the payment info.

**$50.00 to tow it .25 miles...**

Call the dealership, let them know that my Jeep is coming.

Ask sister in law and life saver, Sara .......

"Please take me to get my child and then to the dealership."

She's on it.

Then I grumble a little bit about Tye and his effup.

Then, realize that SL Trib and KSL both were going to run a follow up story about my sister and her husband Brian, who was tragically killed in June.

So, I find the story.

I read it.

Breathe.

Ya know, I remember every single day that Brian is gone.

I remember every single day, how tragically he was taken from us.

I remember every single day that Bella and Ava don't get to grow up with him.

I remember every single day that Bella never met him, while on this earth.

I remember every single day how it felt when my heart was breaking when I got the news that he was gone.

I remember every single day feeling the pain of this tremendous loss for my family and his, but mostly for my sister and my nieces.

And still...even though I remember these things every single day, on days like today, when it is brought back into the light and I read the story.......I still get the wind knocked out of me.

Totally.

So as I am sitting at my desk, reading the story in the tribune about the legal battle that seems to have now begun, I cried.

And then I was nudged.

I can feel it through my body....

"Alisa, get some perspective. You know that Anna would want nothing more, than to know that her husband has her Jeep keys, in his pocket....in Gunnison. But she doesn't get to have that. You do. Get some perspective. And KEEP it."

Speed dial Tye.

No answer, voicemail.

Tearfully I leave him a message that I am not mad. I am not even frustrated. Rather that I am SO grateful.

So grateful that HE has my keys in HIS pocket, as HE is in Gunnison.

Happy Birthday Sweet Husband of mine.

I couldn't love you more.

You are the perfect man for me.

And Brian, thanks for the perspective.

xoxo

Alisa

***There may or may not be words/phrases that may or may not be interpreted as "Strong Language" in this post. Avert your eyes if you are not interested in the MAY OR MAY NOT. And as always...I NEVER recommend reading my blog to the kiddos in place of a bed time story....***

How do you get THAT gig?


Seriously, I wanna know how one get these gigs.....Cuz I need to know where to send my resume.

1- Ever seen the website dickipedia.com?
Well I would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to be part of the team that comes up with these definitions.
Really, read it. Crass, and F.U.N.N.Y.!!

2- Who decides what to name a town, or settlement, or city?
Really. How does that work?
I have always wanted to name a town Thong, or Hair Plug..... Come on!! Why not?
I mean, my land! There's already:
Boar Tush, AL.
What about Manley Hot Springs, AK?
Or...Jot Em' Down Store, GA....NO LIE!
Big Beaver Lick, KY ?????

I mean, I get it. There are some towns/cities that were named what they were named, simply for Geographical purposes.
Like...Stump Town, MT
Or Dripping Springs, TX

But Sugar Tit, SC???
REALLY!! I WANT THIS JOB!!


3- Beer taster
Now, I haven't needed to look for a job for quite a few years (knock on wood)
But I KNOW that I never saw an add for BEER TASTER. Cuz I would have applied!!
Now, I don't LOVE beer. But I do appreciate it. Especially since my husband started brewing his own.
It is all very intriguing.

About a year ago, I REALLY wanted to get out of dodge, move to Missoula, MT and open up a bakery.
The premise of my bakery? What ever the hell I wanted.
From day to day. Always different.
The name of the bakery? : "Whatever I Want"
I envisioned it being the place where people came to eat Whatever I Wanted.
They would love it.
They would try things that they have never tried before.
It would be warm.
It would have odds and ends hanging from the ceiling and the walls.
It would be consistently inconsistent.
I would serve hot drinks like Cinnamon Hot cocoa to Hotty Totty's, and everything in between.
But more than coming in for the warm, welcoming ambiance, or the amazing baked goods....people would come just to talk to me.
Actually, what I want is to be the one that decides what is made everyday (mostly because, well, lets be honest...I dont bake very well) have someone else make it, and sit in a big ole comfy chair and a half in the corner of the bakery, and sit and talk to people.
They would come to me with their joys and sorrows.
They would want advice and an ear to bend.
They would poor their guts out, and they would allow that for me as well.
We would cry, laugh, sit in silence, talk about our fears, what we don't want to know, what we already knew, and how we could save the world....starting with our own.

Yeah....How do I get THAT gig?

xoxoxoxo
Alisa