***There may or may not be words/phrases that may or may not be interpreted as "Strong Language" in this post. Avert your eyes if you are not interested in the MAY OR MAY NOT. And as always...I NEVER recommend reading my blog to the kiddos in place of a bed time story....***

How do you get THAT gig?


Seriously, I wanna know how one get these gigs.....Cuz I need to know where to send my resume.

1- Ever seen the website dickipedia.com?
Well I would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to be part of the team that comes up with these definitions.
Really, read it. Crass, and F.U.N.N.Y.!!

2- Who decides what to name a town, or settlement, or city?
Really. How does that work?
I have always wanted to name a town Thong, or Hair Plug..... Come on!! Why not?
I mean, my land! There's already:
Boar Tush, AL.
What about Manley Hot Springs, AK?
Or...Jot Em' Down Store, GA....NO LIE!
Big Beaver Lick, KY ?????

I mean, I get it. There are some towns/cities that were named what they were named, simply for Geographical purposes.
Like...Stump Town, MT
Or Dripping Springs, TX

But Sugar Tit, SC???
REALLY!! I WANT THIS JOB!!


3- Beer taster
Now, I haven't needed to look for a job for quite a few years (knock on wood)
But I KNOW that I never saw an add for BEER TASTER. Cuz I would have applied!!
Now, I don't LOVE beer. But I do appreciate it. Especially since my husband started brewing his own.
It is all very intriguing.

About a year ago, I REALLY wanted to get out of dodge, move to Missoula, MT and open up a bakery.
The premise of my bakery? What ever the hell I wanted.
From day to day. Always different.
The name of the bakery? : "Whatever I Want"
I envisioned it being the place where people came to eat Whatever I Wanted.
They would love it.
They would try things that they have never tried before.
It would be warm.
It would have odds and ends hanging from the ceiling and the walls.
It would be consistently inconsistent.
I would serve hot drinks like Cinnamon Hot cocoa to Hotty Totty's, and everything in between.
But more than coming in for the warm, welcoming ambiance, or the amazing baked goods....people would come just to talk to me.
Actually, what I want is to be the one that decides what is made everyday (mostly because, well, lets be honest...I dont bake very well) have someone else make it, and sit in a big ole comfy chair and a half in the corner of the bakery, and sit and talk to people.
They would come to me with their joys and sorrows.
They would want advice and an ear to bend.
They would poor their guts out, and they would allow that for me as well.
We would cry, laugh, sit in silence, talk about our fears, what we don't want to know, what we already knew, and how we could save the world....starting with our own.

Yeah....How do I get THAT gig?

xoxoxoxo
Alisa