Luv.

I love love. 

I really do. 

I'm cautious with it. 

I'm cautious with the words I use about love. 

I catch myself giving people just a taste. 

Just enough to wonder. 

I'm not making sense, am I.
 (It's a statement, not a question) 

I think I mean this- 

Love is vulnerable. 

For real.

 Like-real, authentic, put a pin in it, can feel where it has taken up residency in you, vulnerable . 

There is a lot at stake with love.....
Is there? 

I tell myself there is.

All I can really know is how I feel.
 Forget about really knowing how the other person feels. 

Regardless if they tell me. 

So, it gets protected. 

I can't turn love on or off. 

I can't GIVE love.
Like its a book.
Or a pair if earrings. 

 I can't take it away either.

 It just IS.

However, what I protect are my words that express my "love". 

They range and vary in depth and meaning. 

I tend to keep it light.
Fluffy.
 It could belong to just about anyone. 

"Love your guts"
"Luv U"

Even, "Love You". 

I'm holding back. 

But, I can protect it with the lightness of the words. 

I love you. 

I love you. 

I love you. 

Love your guts-
The throw from the back of the love seat.

I love you -
Big down comforter, hand made by MawMaw and still smells like her home made cobbler. 

See? 

Three things:

-I'm trying on "I love you" when it is really the truth. 

-When it is the truth, and I tell you "I love you", I hope you feel me wrapping a big, soft, fluffy comforter around you.

-I love that I love some so deeply that words are futile. 

They know themselves as the "Top 5".

~a

What I know.

What I know

*Smile. It's important.

*Fighting reality is hard work.

*Everyone wants the chance to be good.

*Traveling gets you closer to knowing yourself.

*Try new foods. The worst that can happen is you'll look like a child spitting it out.

*The more chances you give someone, the bigger the chance they'll do better.

*Drink water.

*Looking people in the eyes when you talk to them makes it a real conversation.

*Your soul mate isn't always your spouse.

*Music is a necessity.

*A day spent in bed is required. (alone or with company)

*Your body is amazing.

*Texting is abused.

*Not everyone matches.

*Facebook is a form of evil.

*Pictures are worth much more than a thousand words. And dollars.

*Give yourself a break. Everyone else does.

*Being a martyr is manipulation. Put your cross down.

*Your white knuckle grip is futile against what is.

*Vitamin D is more like a hormone.

*Kissing is a must.

*An apple a day may keep the doctor away.... try it with avocado and kale.

*Have a date with your lover, every week. Even if it's watching your show in bed on Sunday night with dark chocolate.

*Sex is very important to your health. I promise.

*Chill out.

*The only person I want to be better than, is the person I was yesterday.

*Everything will be OK in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end.

*Know your value so you don't undervalue yourself. Or over value yourself.

*Get good with the worst case scenario.

*The best money spent will be on music.

*Anxiety usually comes from self betrayal.

*There's always an exception.

*You would never talk to anyone the way you talk to yourself. Knock it off. I will too.

*Be really really good at at least one thing.

*Your body wants to move. Promise.

*The clarity that can come from a long, lone drive can be life changing.

*My hugs are addicting.

*The natural smell of a baby's head is sacred and reverent. That's why it can't be duplicated in a candle.

*The stupid, icky stuff still has to be done

*You do you, and I'll do me.

-a

One.

One.

If there ever was a child made so specifically and perfectly for a mom, my one is that for me.

One.

As far as numbers go, it’s the smallest. Anything lower is, well, not a number.

One.

For some, the idea of one, equals less.

Perhaps even a lack of abundance.

One.

For some, not enough.

For some, sorrow.

Not for me.

One makes me the richest person there ever was.

One over flows.

One embodies perfection.

One teaches me more than thousands have.

The words to describe my one? 

They are endless.

I’m a mother of one.

My body put me in my place.

I.

Am.

Grateful.