Thursday, May 23, 2013

Luv.

I love love. 
I really do. 
I'm cautious with it. 
I'm cautious with the words I use about love. 
I catch myself giving people just a taste. 
Just enough to wonder. 
I'm not making sense, am I.
 (It's a statement, not a question) 
I think I mean this- 

Love is vulnerable. 
For real.
 Like-real, authentic, put a pin in it, can feel where it has taken up residency in you, vulnerable . 
There is a lot at stake with love.....
Is there? 
I tell myself there is.

All I can really know is how I feel.
 Forget about really knowing how the other person feels. 
Regardless if they tell me. 
So, it gets protected. 

I can't turn love on or off. 
I can't GIVE love.
Like its a book.
Or a pair if earrings. 
 I can't take it away either.
 It just IS.

However, what I protect are my words that express my "love". 
They range and vary in depth and meaning. 
I tend to keep it light.
Fluffy.
 It could belong to just about anyone. 
"Love your guts"
"Luv U"
Even, "Love You". 
I'm holding back. 
But, I can protect it with the lightness of the words. 

I love you. 
I love you. 
I love you. 

Love your guts-
The throw from the back of the love seat.


I love you -
Big down comforter, hand made by MawMaw and still smells like her home made cobbler. 

See? 

Three things:
-I'm trying on "I love you" when it is really the truth. 
-When it is the truth, and I tell you "I love you", I hope you feel me wrapping a big, soft, fluffy comforter around you.
-I love that I love some so deeply that words are futile. 
They know themselves as the "Top 5".

~a