3.....2.....1.....
Meltdown
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Bad day
So, its not been a great couple of days.
Well, today was great for a couple of hours. But, before it....meh. After it.....meh.
Yesterday I started a.....detox. Yeah, a detox.
Tye is doing it with me. It's not HCG.
Anyway, I slept funky Monday night. I didn't get to sleep until about 2. Then kitty started crying, whining and meowing REALLY loud at 5:30. In THE MORNING!!!! So, I had a raging headache all day.
First day of detox + funky sleeping - actual sleep + drama that just won't go away and makes me crazy = the crappiest of crappy days in a long time for this girl.
Today, headache lingering because I slept funky. Kitty up at 5:30, gotta get to work, "don't back out B....don't back out B" going through my head. Low numbers. Blah blah blah.
Here's what I need. I need a wise, non-biased person to talk to.
I don't want someone who will give into and agree with my smallness.
I want someone to tell me I'm wrong for feeling this way about *this*, and that I'm not seeing things as their potential.
I want someone to tell me I'm wrong, and I want them to be right.
And, I want my tooth not to hurt until I have insurance.
And I want a cookie.
Hmmphh
Well, today was great for a couple of hours. But, before it....meh. After it.....meh.
Yesterday I started a.....detox. Yeah, a detox.
Tye is doing it with me. It's not HCG.
Anyway, I slept funky Monday night. I didn't get to sleep until about 2. Then kitty started crying, whining and meowing REALLY loud at 5:30. In THE MORNING!!!! So, I had a raging headache all day.
First day of detox + funky sleeping - actual sleep + drama that just won't go away and makes me crazy = the crappiest of crappy days in a long time for this girl.
Today, headache lingering because I slept funky. Kitty up at 5:30, gotta get to work, "don't back out B....don't back out B" going through my head. Low numbers. Blah blah blah.
Here's what I need. I need a wise, non-biased person to talk to.
I don't want someone who will give into and agree with my smallness.
I want someone to tell me I'm wrong for feeling this way about *this*, and that I'm not seeing things as their potential.
I want someone to tell me I'm wrong, and I want them to be right.
And, I want my tooth not to hurt until I have insurance.
And I want a cookie.
Hmmphh
Saturday, January 1, 2011
New Year, New Day, New Moment
***K, I wrote this on Saturday, but was having issues....with my fauxhawk, jeep, and I gained 5 lbs overnight. Plus I keep getting little jabs of pain all over my body.
Hmmm....how perplexing.....***
I resolve everyday. So, I'm not going to do this whole resolution thing just because it's the beginning of a new year.
I do it cuz it's a new day, a new moment, a new opportunity.
Daily:
-I punish myself way too much about food. I won't do that anymore. That doesn't mean that I'm going to just eat like crap and ignore the consequences. No, what I mean is that if I chose to not eat crap, it is because of how it makes my body feel. It will be because I am treating myself kindly. And I will no longer treat myself unkind with words in my head.
-With speaking more kindly to myself, I will with others as well. With my girl and my hubby specifically. I will spend more time with my girl, doing what eight year olds do. With that, I will also have more follow through with my girl. I mean this in the discipline area. She may voice the contrary, but she works well with discipline.
-I'm going to read more books. With this new thing I have that is flat and shinny and has a fruit on the back (I dare not say the name for fear I might get another jabbing pain in some random place on my body), I have downloadable books. There are lots of free ones, and the ones that aren't free, are cheap. More books that really interest me. With that, I will be consciously creating more time to do so.
-I won't resolve to keeping my house cleaner. I think that will be a result of me being truer to myself. Doing what centers me. What grounds me.
-I'm going to say yes when the answer is yes, and I'm going to say no when the answer is no.
-I punish myself way too much about food. I won't do that anymore. That doesn't mean that I'm going to just eat like crap and ignore the consequences. No, what I mean is that if I chose to not eat crap, it is because of how it makes my body feel. It will be because I am treating myself kindly. And I will no longer treat myself unkind with words in my head.
-With speaking more kindly to myself, I will with others as well. With my girl and my hubby specifically. I will spend more time with my girl, doing what eight year olds do. With that, I will also have more follow through with my girl. I mean this in the discipline area. She may voice the contrary, but she works well with discipline.
-I'm going to read more books. With this new thing I have that is flat and shinny and has a fruit on the back (I dare not say the name for fear I might get another jabbing pain in some random place on my body), I have downloadable books. There are lots of free ones, and the ones that aren't free, are cheap. More books that really interest me. With that, I will be consciously creating more time to do so.
-I won't resolve to keeping my house cleaner. I think that will be a result of me being truer to myself. Doing what centers me. What grounds me.
-I'm going to say sorry when I'm sorry, and say I'm wrong when I'm wrong.
-I'm going to say yes when the answer is yes, and I'm going to say no when the answer is no.
- I am going to say kinder, thoughtful, conscious words in my marriage. 2010 was a great year for us because hubby stayed conscious. 2011 is my year to do that. Oh man, we're gonna make our friends dry heave. Hehehehe
-I am going to make use of the money I pay to the gym every month. I just dont know when.
Now for the FUN stuff:
- I am going to go to AT LEAST 3 Brandi Carlile concerts. In Utah or out of state. Whatever.
- Im going to get 2 tattoos!!!
- Im going to do the SLC Marathon again. (Bike Tour)
- Im going to do LRRH.
WAHOO!!!
What are you creating in 2011?
Alisa
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