OH MY GOOD GOSH ALL MIGHTY!!! I am a horrible horrible horrible blogger! I knew that I would suck at it. So YIPEE I get to be right! ANYWHO....Oh man where do I begin? The time has gone by so quickly!!! Well, lets see. The last time I blogged was in March? Oh I may be giving myself too much credit. Prally February...huh? And now we are in JUNE!! Ok, well then....
Rewind, breathe, rewind, breathe, rewiiiiinnnnnnddddd.....breathe.
Ok. Well, first let me pay tribute to my good friend Jessica Porter. I met Jessica when I was 11 years old. We moved from West Jordan to Taylorsville. She and my sister became instant friends. She really was part of the family. She called my parents mom and dad, and told me that I was annoying and to shut up on a regular basis. We lived in T-ville for about 5 or 6 years, then moved to South Jordan. We stayed in contact, and as I got older, she and I became better friends. When I moved home from Snow College, she let me move in with her until Tye and I got married. Here and there for the next 10 years, we would talk off and on, have lunch, catch up, chat on MySpace and FaceBook. Well, she and I talked again the end of January. We caught up a bit, and she had told me that her health wasn't so great. She had spent some time in ICU in November for her PH. (Pulmonary Hypertension) I asked questions, and now I know how much she played it down. She had been diagnosed with PH a couple of years prior and was living with some restrictions, but it was getting worse. I just didn't really know how bad it had gotten at that point. We made some surface "lets get together for dinner sometime" plans. And that was it. Until about a month later, my sister Kristin sent me an email that she got from Jessica's sister Jenny.
Jenny found Kristin on Facebook and let her know that Jessy was back in ICU. She said that Jessy's PIC line had fallen out, she got an infection and they needed to get her blood cleaned. Well, turns out that Jessy not only had a PIC line, but was on Oxygen as well. On February 14th, Jessy's PIC line had fallen out of her chest. They got her to the hospital and they put it back, but in her arm. Later, it looked as though where the PIC line entered was infected. So they went back to the hospital. As I understand it, her blood was toxic and growing bacteria, so they needed her to come in and be admitted so they could get this taken care of. And that is when it all went down hill. She was in the hospital for about a month. And one thing let to another. Her blood was toxic, then her kidneys were failing then her heart was in failure and her lungs were already in failure. After a month of trying to figure stuff out and see what they could do, they let her know that they were at the end of the road. There was nothing more that they could do. WHAT? Shock, yes....and no. At least for me. I cant even imagine (and hope that is all I ever have to do) going in to the hospital NOT terminal, then coming out terminal. Well, Jessy woul d have nothing of it. She had accepted that she would have to live life with more limitations than before, but she was not willing to accept that she was not going to live for much longer. They told her that with the machines and meds at the hospital, she had about 2 more months. But who wants to die in a hospital? So Jessy decided to go home. Well, they told her that they didnt give her more than 2 weeks at home. What a courageous decision. So home she went. And I dont think there was one single day that she didn't have people who loved her visiting her. Coming to show her their support and love. Now, right here, I want to tell you about my sister. She is the one older than me....lets call her.....Kristin. Cuz that's her name. See, Kristin is careful with her emotions. She holds them close to her, and they don't come out and play much. She internalizes A LOT. And she is one of the most giving, selfless people I know. When Kristin found out about Jessica being in the hospital, she went to see her that day. And every other day after that. If there was more than 24 hours between times Kristin saw Jessy, it want many times. She was right by Jessica's side. I KNOW that it meant the world to Jessica to have all these people that love and care about her, come to see her and be by her side. But I KNOW that it meant the Universe to Jessica to have KRISTIN there by her side. Kristin gave her what no one else could. How hard it was for Kristin to watch her best friend deteriorate and get ready to move on and to leave her body behind. This was as vulnerable as it gets for anyone, and certainly for Kristin. I am SO proud of my sister for the person that she is. For stepping up to this. And it wasn't just for Jessica. I know this. Kristin felt some regret for the time that had past in their friendship. This was for Kristin too. Not that being next to Jessica makes up for anything. Not that there is anything to make up for. Life just IS. We cant change decisions made. We just move forward and learn. And Kristin was not going to let this opportunity pass her by. So, back to Jessica. She is home now with her family and friends, but she is here with her family and friends, because she was told she is going to die. How do you digest that? All of us will either have the opportunity to digest that, or we will be yanked out of this life with out the opportunity to digest. So, one week goes by. Then two. The doctors said she would be dead by now. Then 3. And 4. Then 5. This is what you need to know as well. This whole time, Jessica is lucid and aware and sitting on the couch. Yes, she is hooked up to her medicines and her oxygen, but she isn't laying in a bed in a coma. She is able to converse and be with her friends and family just as you and I would. However, she is not moving around and she does have a catheter. (Sorry for the spelling). Anyway, as time goes on, even though she has stumped the doctors, it isn't because she has beat this and she is going to live a longer, healthier life. It is only because her body is taking longer to die than they thought. She skin is getting greyer, her body is getting a bit harder, and she is in more pain. But still, she is lucid and NEVER EVER ONCE complained. Not ever did she say "Why Me?" She was courageous and she also knew that there was no point. Complaining would not change the situation. Wait, yes it would. It would make her more miserable. So, she took it hour by hour. She lived for 8 weeks after she got home. 6 weeks later than what the doctors were sure of. She was lucid up until 2 days before she passed. She died Tuesday May 12th. She was 34. Jessica loved everyone. She always smiled. And she was blessed with an amazing one too. She loved her family, her friends, her work, and her life. She played the cards dealt, and very well I might add. She has taught me so much in the way of gratitude and courage. I will miss her and I love her very much. She decided that she wanted to be cremated. I was able to attend her services (Thankfully). Her services were the Saturday before I was to leave on my vacation of a life time. She requested that as her friends and family traveled, to take some of her ashes and sprinkle them where they chose. I was so glad to hear this. I wanted to take her with me and sprinkle her ashes from the top of the mountain in Cinque Terre over looking the Mediterranean Sea, and also from the sailboat on the Adriatic Ocean. However, I was not able to take her with me, and my sister could not send her to me in time. But, no worries. I will be back.
Now, you may have read something about the Mediterranean Sea and the Adriatic Sea.....and a trip of a life time.... Well, here is the story. For a few years now, I have wanted to go to Greece. BAD! I have talked about it a ton! My cousin (Jen) was all about it. But mostly we just talked about it. She wanted to go to Italy as well. So then it turned into talking about going to Italy. Well, neither one of us was willing to go into debt for this trip. So that meant SAVING. Anyway, I had told Tye about it and he was very supportive. However, life happens and dreams get away from us (slippery little buggers). One day Tye asked if I had let go of that dream. The dream of going to Italy and maybe Greece. I said, "Well yes." We had talked about moving and living with less and so on and so forth. And that was an US thing. The trip was a ME thing. So I really did feel selfish in pursuing it. He looked at me and pretty much yelled "WELL I HAVEN'T! DON'T YOU!!!" Uh....ok. He said "Listen, I have to opportunity to make some extra money, let me send you on your trip." Wha?? See, I may be a martyr at times, but my hell, I'm not stupid!! "OK!!!" I said. But it wasn't for sure. So about a week later I get an email from my incredibly handsome, sexy, loving, giving, hung like a horse husband (Did I just say that??) that said..... "I know someone going to Italy"...... HOLY $&*@!!! He was giving me 2/3 of what I needed to go. So, I called Jen. "I have my funds!!! Lets do this". But after looking over what she had going on in her life, it wasn't going to work for her. BUMMER! me and Jen travel together. That is what we do. Well, that and act like we are Def Leppard in the car. (Guess who plays the one armed drummer)
Well, I will find someone else. And on a whim I thought "I will call Analee and see if she wants to go". Now, last I checked with her, she had no desire. What am I stupid? Duh, I know that she has not wanted to go. But I ask anyway. Cuz I want to go with her. SHE SAID YES! Now, there was some time, and money juggling that needed to happen. She ended up missing Yale's graduation, But we ended up booking out tickets. This was in February. ITALY AND GREECE, HERE WE COME......IN MAY!!!!
So I cant even begin to tell you the amount of planning there is to do when you are going to TWO different countries you have never been to. HOLY COW!!! This is stressful!!! Hostels, hotels, buses, cars, trains, connections, flights.......SERIOUSLY!!! Then Tye's cousin Aimee mentioned that her sister Emily had been many times. Aimee, her husband Aaron and Emily just went last July. So, I get past the fact that I have only talked to Emily about 3 times in the 10 years I have been married to Tye and I email her. She has SO much great information!! Then my emails turn into... "Ya know, we got a GREAT deal on our airfare. And I just looked. It is even better now, even from California......." I was only informing her. However, she is a travel whore and VERY easy. It didn't take too many emails before it was "WAHOO, I BOOKED A TICKET TO ROME!!!" Well...hello Em....you MUST come to Greece with us!! Duh. Wouldn't you say? This is Em" Ohhh....Man, I want to go so bad....I just don't think that.....um...well....no, I don't think so....I don't want to have to put it on credit.....Who am I kidding? I will TOTALLY put it on Credit! YES!! I AM GOING TO GREECE TOO!!!!" I JUST LOVE HER! She is one of the most authentic people I know. So, she planned Italy, and I planned Greece. Well, when I say planned, all I did was book the place we were going to stay and the ferry tickets to get there from Athens.
So, my next post, I will dig into my travel journal and let you know details about the places we went in Italy and Greece. I will even try to figure out how to post some pictures. :)
-Alisa
