Boulter trouBle

Looks like I felt like blogging....

I have not blogged for a LONG time. It seems that I have started the previous 2 entries with that statement......this seems to be my trend. Man, it's a good thing I dont get paid for this.

So, I am sure that there are a ton-o-things that have happened that I could blog about, but nothing that is so exciting that it warrants the 5 pages it would take.

Lets see, I think I told you about Vegas and skinny dipping on the last entry.

Then, the first week of October, I went to San Francisco to have a kick ass weekend with one of my favorite people.

Emily

Have I told you that I love her? Cuz I do. She truly is one of my favoritistest people in the world.

So, I hop on a flight to SF. I get in at like 1 pm. Emily came in from Sacramento to get me. I was SO excited to see her and have an adventure with her. (She is ANYTHING but dull, count on a good time with her)

So, we head into the city. I mention to her "Really..... I am STARVING."

She agrees, she is hungry too.

She suggests a cool little Indian place. Take out, cash only.

So, after a few wrong left turns and right turns, we find it.

SUWEET! Parking right in front of the place. (Parking in SF is a JOKE)

We are getting our stuff out of the car, I grab my wallet, click the lock to lock the door and we shut our doors.

Emily turns, just as her door is shutting...(in slow motion, it seems) "Noooo.....wwwaaaiiiittttt.....sssshhhhoooooootttt".

Yup, keys locked in the car.

Here I was, trying to be responsible, and just assumed that Emily wanted to lock her car in the big ole city of San Francisco.

Well, you know what they say about assume..... it makes and ASS out of U and ME. I think in this case, it only made the ass out of me.

Well, we decide to go in and get some food, and call a locksmith.

Food: Hello Heaven...... I will have the lamb.

YUMM-O (so sorry for the RR reference. Promise I will not say EVOO)

Em got the homemade cottage cheese with mango or something.

Oh My! I just need to let her order my food for me from now on.

Oh wait...no I dont. My sticky rise and mango will come short of the sweetened condensed milk and mango. (That is later)

So, we get a phone book, find Locksmith, and seriously call the first one that we see.

He said that he can come for $75.00.

"Nope", she says. "I can have my room mate come."

$50.00?

Ok, $50.00.

So we eat, and we wait. Its take out only. So where do we eat? Well, on the curb of Fulmer and 4th Avenue of coarse. And I literally mean THE CURB.

About 45 minutes later, they pull up.

This small, quite little Asian man, and this LOUD, big Black guy.

(The following is just the truth and has NOTHING to do with Race, gender, religion, or sexual preference......its just what happened)

Here they come, we say hello. We point to the car and they get to work.

The quiet little Asian guy (we will call him Bob) puts this balloon type of thing with a pump in between the window and the frame. He starts pumping it up to get some room between the frame and the window.

So, as Bob is working on the window, the big, loud, black guy (We will call him Jay-Z) starts talking to us. He has seriously about 7 teeth....all in the back of his mouth.

In reference to Emily watching her door shut, in slow motion, knowing that her keys were going to get locked in the car, Jay-Z starts telling us how he has the same experience, but with $300.00 and a toilet......

"Um...what?" I ask.

"How do you actually flush $300.00 down a toilet......on accident?"

"Well", he proceeds with his story.

"See, I had $300.00 cash on my table. Then, there was a knock on my door. I looked through the peep hole to see who it was. It was one of my friends. *But I didnt want this friend to know that I had $300.00. *So, I waded the money up in a bunch of napkins. We sat and talked for while. Then we decided we were hungry. So we ordered some delivery. We got done eating and my friend was getting ready to leave. I told him to wait, I wanted to clean up really quick. *So I grabbed all the napkins and I flushed the napkins down the toilet. And as they were heading down the toilet, swirling down the bowl....I remembered that I waded up the money into some of the napkins. I yelled 'Nooooooooooooooo' and tried to get my hands in there before they made it down the hole...but I was too late."

He must have noticed the very perplexed, and confused stare on my face.

He asked "What, you dont believe me?"

"Actually", I say "I just have a few questions"..... (See the * in the story above)

*1- Why do you have friends or anyone in your life that you dont want to know you have $300.00?

His response- You dont?

Uh...No Jay-Z. I dont.

*2- When you have money that you dont want out, why is your first thought NOT to put it in your pocket? Who thinks "Quick, hide the cash in some napkins?"

His response- "I didnt have any pockets."

K, not interested if he was wearing any pants or not....

*3-When cleaning up ones mess after dinner, WHO FLUSHES THE NAPKINS DOWN THE TOILET???? Did you eat in the bathroom??

His response- Uhhhhhh......

Yeah, that prally means you DID eat in the bathroom.....

I feel really good now that I understand how he can really relate to me and Em and the situation at hand. Truly.

In the mean time, Bob is having a really hard time with the window pumper and the stick he has trying to get the lock, unlocked.

So Jay-Z decides to step in.....and we have all just been made very aware how smart Jay-Z is....hand the job over to him.

He gets a slim jim. Ahhh yeah... the trusty ole Slim-Jim.

He shoves it down between the window and the door.

Up and down, to the left, to the right....

TADA....unlocked.

So time to pay. Em hand him her card. His portable card charger is not working. He will not take a check, and I DID NOT want to give him cash.

But....cash it is.

Ugh. So I give him $50.00. (This WAS, after all, my fault)

And away they go.

We are off too.

So, you may be asking "Alisa, why didnt you want to give them cash?"

Well, I will tell you why.....About 3 hours later when we were heading to the park for the first evening of Hardly Strictly Blue Grass Emily tried rolling down her window. CLANK-SCRATCH-SCREETCH-CLONK. Yeah, not how a window should sound that ISNT effed up.

Then, when we go to park the car, she cant unlock her door.

THIS is why I didnt want to pay them cash. CC transaction.....canceled. THAT easy!!

Anyway, Window and door still being difficult. And it took and act of God to get the grease from Jay-Z's face off her wind shield. Again, I only speak truth.

So we had a REALLY good time at the bluegrass festival.

This is Lyle Lovett and his Big Church Band..

Oh, how I love Lyle Lovett. He is so not sexy, but his voice is.

Time to head out. We will be back on Saturday and Sunday for some more music festival.....and some serious contact high....

We were hungry again. We passed an Ethiopian place. Mmmmm..... but again, parking.

So Em pulls up to a Pizza by the Slice place. I hop out and get 2 slices of Pesto pizza with Garlic and Feta cheese. OMG!!

We drive a few streets over until we find somewhere to park and eat.

We are eating, talking and laughing. Then Em tells me, "man, I have got to pee soooooo bad. Seriously, I cant hold it."

She looks around...."I will just pee next to the car...IN THE GUTTER.."

"WHAT?" I ask.

"Serious Alisa, I bet so many people have peed in this gutter..."

Do I NEED to point out the obvious in this statement? The part that screams DONT PEE IN THE GUTTER!!!

No matter. Em will do what she needs to do.

So I say "At least open the back door so you have some sort of cubicle..."

Bravo Alisa...Bravo!

She has to wait a few seconds for people who DONT pee in the gutters to walk by. Then before I know it, pants down, Em squatting in the gutter. Peed, up, pants on, buttoned, done! And not a moment too soon.

"Hello passer-byers.....lovely night, isnt it?"

Then I look about 25 feet up the street....."Um, Em....that looks like a porta-potty."

So it is.

But that doesnt give one the same experience as peeing in the gutter.

So the next day was a FULL day of music, running from stage to stage, yummy food and sun.

What a GREAT day.

Just so you know, this is not a relaxing day. There are 4 stages that we are trying to get to and from. We have our blankets set out at each stage to save our place.

But all the heat, the fighting the crowds, the walking, walking, walking......all of it was worth it, just for this video....

Seriously, this kid was SO funny!!!

The next morning, I woke up SO tired, sore and sun burned.

I BEGGED Em, PLEASE dont make me go all day long.

Lets see some other parts of San Francisco. This was only my second time there

So we decided to head somewhere outside of the city to get some breakfast. We ended up in Sausalito.

Then, as if it were meant to be, we found a really quaint and cute breakfast place.

When we were seated, we were seated with 2 other couples. None of us knew each other. We started talking with the sweetest older couple from Chicago. We laughed, told stories, guessed each others ages, and talked about how the wife (cant remember her name) was a wino. And Stewart.....or was it Douglas?...finally got it right with his 3rd wife (the one sitting at the table).

It was such a great morning.

Then we decided to head to The Muir Woods Redwood Forest.

These redwoods are HUGE!!