Dear Someone

So, I have a couple of blogger friends that do posts called "Dear Someone".
I love them.
You know who you are.
So here is the deal......I am soooooooooo copying you.

Its the highest form of flattery....right?
Right.

So here is my first "Dear Someone"

Dear Ole Dear...ME...

Tell me, why is it when you are urged to do something, by none other than YOURSELF (you know, the still small voice...that when ignored, turns into Ms. Graham from my 2nd grade class at Westvale Elementary who used a ping pong paddle to whack on your desk when you were day dreaming, talking, or when she needed to get some anger out....where was I?)
Oh yeah....by none other than YOURSELF....WHY DO YOU IGNORE IT??
All that leads to is emotional and mental self mutilation.
You know EXACTLY what I am talking about.

Yesterday, when you were heading into Albertsons to get an avocado, do you remember the elderly couple coming out?
Do you remember watching the cute little old man, with a total of 10 hairs on his head, 100 liver spots on his body, and glasses that swallowed his face?

Do you remember seeing him pull the cart full of groceries with one hand and push his sweetheart, with her tightly curled silver hair, and sunglasses that looked like she just got her eyes dilated, in her wheelchair, with his other hand?

Yeah, that's right.....pushing his wife in her wheelchair with one hand, and pulling the cart behind him with his other hand.

Do you remember what you thought?

Of course you do.

Its been bugging you for the last 24 hours.
You thought "Oh, hey, I should take his cart for him"
Then for some reason that I have yet to figure out, the next thought was "Na, he's got it".

DID THIS LOOK EASY FOR HIM?
My land!!! Dudes 90...AT LEAST!
Your 33, and it would take some skills to do it yourself.

So....then, as you walk into the store, do you remember the conversation that we had with each other? (I bet you, the reader, may be wondering how many of "us" are in this pretty little head.....I wish I knew)

Me: "Dammit Alisa!! Why didnt you help them? You physically could feel yourself move over there, and it was harder to stop you...yet you stopped you....WHY?"
Me: "Hell Alisa....I DONT KNOW!!!"
Me: "Well my gosh! LISTEN TO ME NEXT TIME!! I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!!"
Me: "Ok, Ok....I know, I just need to trust you."
Me: "Good.....you dumb ass"

**Reader...you may think that it stops here.
That I learned my lesson. (Believe me, this is not the first time I have had to learn this lesson) But, surely not to disappoint.....it doth not end-eth here..eth**

So...dear, dear, dumb ass me.....tell me this.
When you were leaving, do you remember seeing same said couple putting groceries in their car?
Do you remember thinking, "I really should go help him fold that wheelchair and put it in the trunk"?
Then, do you remember, as you were driving off in your car, looking in the rear view and watching him do it...and, Im not gonna lie, struggle a bit doing it?
Tell me, what did you do about that?
Oh yeah....you turned right on to 200 West, and drove to work.

Just remember. You didnt hurt that cute little old man.
You didnt hurt his wife.
They didnt battle with themselves about why the spry 30ish looking lady didnt help them.

Nope.

You did, however, hurt yourself.
You totally and completely betrayed yourself.

I am sure that we will have this talk again, about something else.
So I am not going to tell you not to betray yourself again.
However, I would like it to be fewer and further between.

Take care of you, and those around you.

Me.